It's my fault but I don't seem to be able to fix it

[bill_schubert]

I'm not enjoying my time at the Ranch anymore.  It's not the dogs (of course), it is the management and it is not so much their fault but more mine.  I don't like not having an input but being told to do it this way now or do it that way now when both changes make my job less enjoyable and contribute neither to safety nor efficiency.  If I were getting paid I'd either fix it or live with it but I'm creating my own conflict and I don't need to do that and I've been unsuccessful stopping.  I end up leaving every time I go there in a state of annoyance.  At myself as much as anything, I guess.

So I've written an email to the woman who owns the place (there is not, far as I can tell, a volunteer coordinator, which says something) saying that for personal reasons I need to step back for a couple of months hoping to return later.  Very vague.  And I don't have to explain personal reasons.  And I don't want to fix the place or own the place.  It would be nice to have someone ask my opinion but that has not happened once in two and a half years so no reason to think it might now.

I wrote the email and saved it in draft.

But I think I'm going to send it.  Back away.

I hate being away from the dogs but dealing with the people is just not working right now and it is screwing with my internal calm, exactly the opposite of what I want from going there.

Like I say, it is mostly my fault.  My personality.

Maybe after a couple of months I'll feel differently.

Comments

[susandennis]

smart but sad. any other dog walking opportunities? I know there are a bunch in Seattle because every year or so I'd think hmmm I should do that and so researched... I know all those dogs are grateful for my research and probably happy they got better dog walkers than me.

[bill_schubert]

yeah, not doing anything else right now.. the Williamson County shelter needs help so maybe. We'll see.

[bill_schubert]

I thought about it and applied to the dog shelter very near us. It is a really good one and about half an hour closer and no doubt they need help. We'll see if they need help when I'm available to give it. But they are a lot more organized and have been around a while.

[maisydaisy]

Your peace of mind is the most important thing.
If taking a break however long will make you feel better then take it.

[zoefruitcake]

I think it is not you but them. A break is a good idea